July 2009


I’ve been thinking of this question a lot lately. I am the sort of person, who likes to dream about things. And nowadays I have been building castles in the air about what I’d want “home” to mean for me. And then I think of what I want from my home, this is the answer.

I want a happy home.

And so the post.

I want H and I to build a friendly, welcoming, comfortable, sunshiny home. I want it to be a positive place that recharges us, instead of draining out our energies. Lately, I’ve been thinking of how to go about doing this? How do I ensure that our house radiates positivity? And when I start thinking in this direction, I automatically think of vibes.

All houses radiate emotions. Happiness, sadness, peace, anger, love. I feel that they hit you, even before you lay your eyes on the interiors, or the color scheme or the furniture. I’ve stayed in a number of house till date, and I have experienced all these vibes. My parent’s place, exudes peaceful, comforting vibes. I go home, and suddenly, all the noise in my head goes quiet. Even if there is no one at home, I still feel the stillness, the calmness around me. I think, that comes from the kind of people my parents are. Calm, at peace, and content. My place in Pune had happy vibes. It was disorganised, and chaotic, with four talkative girls in it, but still, it was a pleasant place, a place of many giggles, and stories. I’d think of home, and I’d link it to smiles, to a positive welcoming feeling.

What are these vibes? It’s difficult to explain. They are not really body language, though body language helps in our understanding of vibes, and it is not really intuition, because intuition is always futuristic. It is our “sensing” of our environment, and is linked more with thoughts. And I have realized, that it is good to go with one’s instincts about vibes.

Happy vibes make a happy home. And only a happy person makes happy vibes. So the next natural question is… What makes us happy? 🙂

Happiness.. it’s all about perspective, really. Happiness has its roots in Self Image. And that is where it gets all tricky. We are only as happy as we want to be. Some emotions are reactive emotions, and some are proactive emotions. For example, getting angry is a reactive emotion. You cannot be angry for no reason… the reasons are there, overt, or covert. But I think, one can be happy reactively… or proactively. One can be in situations that give one pleasure and joy, but at the same time… one can opt to look at normal things and find happiness in them.

I am happy that I have a laptop that I can type away on, endlessly, and take, wherever I want to. There… how difficult was that?

But like I said, you need to have a positive self image as well as positive conditions to grow happiness in your home. And this is what.. and entire day of thought has yielded. Something so simple!

So how does one improve the family’s self image?

1. Opinions get heard, and respected

2. One tries to give and take positive strokes, “I’m OK, you’re OK”.

3. Disputes are handled with fairness and communication.

4. There is support and understanding

5. There is a lot of affirmation, and confirmation of care, love, affection.

6. The truth is spoken, and there is transparency

And dear H, this is how I want us to be, with each other, and with our children.

And the second and equally important thing is: –

1. To celebrate life. To seek happiness and joy, in little things, to remind ourselves, and each other of how great, how beautiful things are.

2. To live in the present, and prepare for the future.

3. To create situations of happiness for each other

Would you like to add to the list?

I’m starting this new blog for a new period in my life. It’s my symbolic transition into a phase in life which I hope will be as sunshiny, and bright and beautiful as I am imagining it to be 🙂

We are shifting locations. Heading out towards the south of India. It will be a major change for Hubby and me… A period of many firsts. This is the first home that we will be building together, all by ourselves..our first house hunt expedition, first brush with the brokers and maids. Then ofcourse will follow the first furniture that we’ll buy, the first appliances, first friend that we’ll invite… The works!

It’ll be a thrilling time, don’t you think? And I want to chronicle it all here. The laughs, the confusion, the anxiety, the fun, the arguments.

I hope to record things here and hope for this to be a work that I can dig into, many years later, and chuckle or grin goofily. I also want you all to please comment. Treat this like a friend’s place.. Drop in to say hi, agree with me, disagree with me, share a slice of life with me.

Looking forward to our cuppa chai and chat as soon as we can 🙂