December 2009


…the words are lost…
maybe they have muted themselves out of existence
or maybe, they are hiding.. and waiting desperately to be found..

..will I try…?
…what is the point of finding something,
that you are going to lose again?

…and I turn 29. Its weird though, that I don’t feel a day older than maybe 23-24!

I don’t know what excites people about birthdays. I know of people who think a great deal about who has remembered, and who as forgotten to wish them. About whether they have gifts and new clothes, or cakes or parties. I for one, would much rather treat it like any other normal day… well almost.

I love the normalcy, the “everyday”ness of my days. I love my 8 hours of sleep, 2 hours of conversation, 2 hours of day dreaming, 6 hours of work, and 3 hours of solitude. My daily life is exciting enough with all the elements of joy, fun, anger, irritation (:D) and honestly I don’t care for more of these atleast on a weekday.   I don’t know what is it with people wanting to wish you at 12 in the night! It irritates me.  If it is New Year, I can still understand, but it wasn’t like I was born exactly at 12!

I also despise the pseudo excitement… “Oh what are your plans”…. “Oh what did you do”… like I’m supposed to be trying bungee jumping or something :D.. Puhleese!

So what do I like about my birthday? I like feeling special, having small things done for me, like my morning cup of tea, or a great dinner. I  like thoughtful gifts, and thoughtful words…. and by thoughtful, I mean, well meaning words, that come from the heart. I want to be wished sure, but at saner times, when I can talk back! And its definitely not when I’m sleepy, or trying to act professional in office :D! 

Other than that, maybe this year is supposed to have extra significance…. its my last year in my twenties… and next year on.. it will be the beginning of my 30s! How time flies! 🙂

Maybe its a good idea to jot down what I want to accomplish this year..

1. I want to go back to being 62-63 kgs

2. I want to be more responsible and proactive at work

3. I want to stay in touch with more people

4. I want to maybe blog more often, definitely take more pictures, read more books

Other than that…. life is fine 🙂

Edited to add.. I am feeling very philosophical… and went scouting on Youtube for a few of my favorite “Life” and “Everyday” songs… my gift to myself 🙂

I love train journeys.

There is something about sitting in a rickety rackety coach, peering out of the window, watching the changes in scenery. The everchanging scenery, donning a new colour at each stop, symbolises life to me. Sometimes green, Sometimes grey, and always racing past at 100 miles/hr…

Train Journeys and I have a history. And we embrace each other like two people who’ve known each other a long time.The first train trip I distinctly remember, was a Delhi – Jammu trip on the Jammu Tawi Express. I remember the family, suitcases, trunks, bags, food and all, occupying some 15 berths.The beginning of summer, meant vacations, and short trips around Delhi with the entire lot of Masis and Mamas and cousins. A lot of planning went into these trips, and everyone had their work cut out.

All the families would assemble at a designated home. The ladies would get together and plan for all the meals to be had in the train. There would be recipes to be shared and food to be cooked to last the entire journey without getting spoilt, and messy and and to appeal to us kids. The gents of the house would have all logistics to take care of. The tickets, the taxis, and the ensuring that the luggage and the crowd was moved from one city to another without too much confusion. Us kids were incharge of planning the entertainment. Ofcourse the youngest of us were an entertainment in themselves! There would be card games, and Ludo, and Antakshari and Dumb Charades. A/C compartments were not heard of so much and we travelled Sleeper class and despite getting off the train, dusty and untidy and aching for a bath, we’d feel like the best part of the trip had ended.

Then there were trips to Manmad, in Maharashtra, near Shirdi, where we’d all sit up to take note of the “Thumb’s Up” mountain. We’d make a hundred pacts with God on board the train to Shirdi, and the “Thumbs Up” mountain, nearing Shirdi, would feel like the God had said “I agree”, or “Good Luck” and we’d feel like all our pacts had been fulfilled.

On train trips in the college times, we travelled in hordes. The Trains were privy to secrets though our crushes, the hot pair in college, our dreams… all spoken in hushed whispers to the best of friends.

I’ve come a long way since that time, and now flights are more the norm than trains. But even now, the occasional train journey stirs up the memories of my life as it has been till now.

In that girl on the first berth, I see myself, at 6, tumbling down the upper berth behind Mummy scared that she would leave without me. Round the corner on Berth 15, I see a painfully shy 12 year old, at the threshold of her teens, playing with her brothers and sisters, wanting attention but shirking from it too 🙂

This rebellious teenager, sitting right next to me is going away to boarding school, where she will learn the most beautiful lessons of her life, about trust and camaraderie, and friendship, and though she sits sulking with her ipod plugged in, staring resolutely out of the window, I can see the stars of a bright tommorrow reflecting in her eyes.

Oh and that college gang at the end of the corridor… well, that was where I was some years back, talking of love, and dreams, and singing shared songs.

Seeing this middle aged lady sitting in front of me, I smile… I know what she’s thinking……she too is remembering some part of her life, left in some train.One of many lives… on a speeding train… going to some place without a name.

Its been a long time since the last post… Was it in August sometime?

After that life went into a whirlwind! My project got crazier, and crazier. I was working both days of the weekends in September and October. H was away to Delhi for his project. There was too much to be done. I guess I kinda lost track of time.  Now that I think if it…. it feels like a daze!

Anyways, I was working hard to take the long break that I had planned to, for Diwali and the anniversary. And we did, we took a nice long 15 day break, went to Delhi, and to Corbett…and after that we came back to B’lore via Chennai.. the works

And its only been since the last weekend that some semblance of sanity has dawned on our lives. And I remembering the old bloggy ways again 🙂

Life has really got hectic… but its a nice “ALIVE” kinda hectic. We have friends over all the time, we go out for movies, for coffee, we have night outs, and the world seems to be a pleasant and happy place. I see our house becoming the kind of place I had wanted. Lovely, warm and welcoming, comfortable and tidy.

We are eating well, working out, and in general, living a good life 🙂 I am content