Work front news. This year has started with me being super low on motivation. I have no will to come to office and every day I am in two minds between calling in sick, and leaving for work.  I wish I could shake myself up and just get all the pending things, all the deadlines done with, but somehow, there always seems to be something more interesting that I could be doing… heck… even cleaning up the house seems more fun! 🙂

It’s come to a point where I look at all the stay at home women, mom’s, grannies, kids… and I wish I could just leave my job this minute, and begin to have the leisurely, cozy, stressfree existence that these ladies seem to be enjoying… Its bright and sunny here in B’lore… and I’m in a super philosophical phase as well. I have a lot of unsettled thoughts buzzing around in my mind right now and I need to anchor them somewhere. The only place I can think of is.. the Blog now…I am thinking of the lovely prospect of sitting out in the balcony, with the sun on my back … I want to prop my feet up to warm them in the rays of the sun… and I want to read books…and then nod off to sleep right there… warm as toast … Ah…see, I’m feeling happier already! I want to day dream… and pick up thoughts at random from my mind, and I want to ponder on them at leisure, sometimes with detachment, sometimes with regret, sometimes with contentment

I want to go for long drives, with Hubby driving… comfortable in the quiet that we share… balmy breeze, on wide, smooth roads, with open farms on each side, where the eye gets to see as far as it can.

Maybe even a nice long train journey, its been ages since I last went on one… the rattle of the train, the rhymthic movement of the bogies, the constant hum of the combined voices of many people, and in the distance, out of the window, hills, valleys, meadows, farms, cows, scarecrows, solitary huts, haystacks.. farmers.

Why do I have to be sitting in this office? With a crazy insecure manager, with ratings that do not justify the work I had done, in conditioned, circulated stale air and artificial “natural” lights, when life beckons… when there is so much to learn, to experience, to see? When I was much younger, I had these thoughts about “enjoying” the work that I was doing… and now it seems like, I am just working to enjoy. Its ironical… because with the schedules I keep, work is taking the enjoyment out of everything.

 Such is life!