Proceeding to recount the proceedings (getting verbose, aren’t we!) of Day 2 and Day 3. 

On Day 1 While hurriedly parting ways.. on Day 1, Crazy Uncle X informs that the class will be taken from 6:30 in the morning henceforth, and that Cocky Driver will be taking the classes.  Enter Cocky Driver…

Day 2: The day of Cocky Monologues

SS receives a missed call at 6:15 in the morning.  SS calls back.  A loud “C’mon Darling..Ai ai ai yo… and something in Kannada” song, wakes her up completely. It is Cocky Driver calling…and this song (!?!?!?)… this is Cocky Driver’s dialer tone …(now you understand why the name??) 😀

Cocky Driver: “Madam, I am coming in 10 min,  madam”

SS: “Okay”

Cocky Driver: “Please note my mobile number, madam”

SS: “Yess Yess” . Obviously, SS has a hangover from yesterday’s class with CUX

SS sleep walks down to the road outside, and waits… Cocky Driver, swerves the trainer car and brings the car to a halt, with utmost panache, matched only by Rajnikant,  just two inches from SS’s toes… SS jumps back… now as alert as ever

Cocky Driver gives his “endearing” betel nut stained smile. “Good morning, madam”

SS smiles back hesitatingly

Cocky Driver now springs out of the Driver’s Seat, again.. with a panache, that can only be matched by the great Rajni saar himself

SS hears these words inside her head as she gingerly steps into the trainer car…. “Kanne…. idhu vaandi, idhu vandi-odha door, adhu sky, adh nila…ha ha ha ha”  – (Oh H does this so much better!!, I can just attempt it! Someone tell me if this is correct or not! I’m trying to say… This is car, this is car’s door, that is sky, that is the moon… ha ha ha ha (menacingly)

SS starts like a s-m-0-0-t-h operatorrr, ignition, clutch, first gear, release clutch slowly, leave brake slowly… car is moving,  SS is feeling totally cool… “hey.. this was easy…” and listening to “Smooth Operator” inside her head loudly now… (he he he)

Cocky Driver, grinning through his betel stained teeth.. “Madam.. ek min.. roko….hand brake ko neeche karo!”. Music stops. Ears alert!

SS tries again with the handbrake down now, takes the car forward, drives around relatively smoothly, until at some god forsaken curve, she is made to stop unceremoniously.

Cocky Driver: “Abhi mein aapka class shuru karta hoon.. dekho… yeh car ka lock hai… ” Pulls the lock up and down and up and down for effect… ” Isko tightly bandh nahi hone se.. car mein noise hota.. khat khat khat khat… bump ke upar jaane toh… car ka darwaaza, khul be sakta… isliye.. isko zor se bandh karna… aisa…” slams the door shut

“Abhi suno, yeh,  seat aisa back and forward hota, adjust karna… kya hai na… sab ka height different hota na.. toh comfortable rehne ka”

“Yeh, light hai, door khulne pe on hota hai… khud bhi on/off kar sakte, left mein off, right mein on” switches light on and off… “light on karke gaadi nahi chalaane ka”

“Car mein, teen type ke oil rehte, brake oil, engine oil, aur petrol. yeh in ka sign hai… engine oil nahi hone, toh engine cheez (SEIZE!)  ho jaata, brake oil fail hone toh… he he he.. apne filmon mein dekha hai na madam… waisa hi.. aur lastly petrol .. issey bharwana padta”

“Yeh wiper, iska teen speed, thoda baarish aane toh, sabse kam speed mein chalana, thoda aur baarish, toh second speed, and bahut zyada baarish hone toh.. yeh, max speed mein”

“Yeh dipper, yeh flash, flash, raat ko overtake karne ke liye, dipper raat ko chalane ke liye”

“Chalo, abhi gaadi phir se start karo”!

SS starts the car feeling highly enlightened. Obviously this is the first time she had heard of all these awesomely amazing gizmos… obviously coz…this is the presumably her Nth time in any car!

Day 2 closes on a promise of “phir milenge chalte chalte”…with SS and CD (Cocky Driver) doing the “phir milenge chalte chalte” dance from “Rab ne bana di jodi”.

….No I’m just kidding

….Seriously! 

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Day 3: The Day of the Big Bad Road

 SS is “up with the lark” again at 6:30. She descends to the road again…calls up the guy with that crazy ring tone…. Winces as she hers “C’mon Darling…something something in Kannada” again.

Cocky Driver: “Hello??” SS hears some doors slamming, random traffic noises in the background

SS: “Where are you? Its 6:30 already” 

(Whenever we are on time… we don’t miss the oppurtunity to make the other party ( the one who is LATE) feel extra lowly. Yes.. that happens 1 in 100 times! 😀 )

Cocky Driver: “Yess Madam, I’m coming in two minutes”

Five minutes later, the same car swerving scene is repeated. Thankfully SS has her toes tucked this time round!  SS gets into the driving seat. Clutch… gear…. release brake… press accelerator…. We are going on the same route as yesterday..

Cocky Driver: ” Idhar se nahi … udhar se chalenge”

SS: ” Okay…” 

A few turns here and there… and SS starts hearing some terrifying sounds, BIG SOUNDS…. BIG horns… like from BIG buses, and BIG trucks.. and other BIG vehicles…

…SS realises that they are heading towards the BIG road!.

SS: “Main road pe jaana hai??”

Cocky Driver turns and gives his trademark smile. SS makes mental note to knock half a dozen of his betelnut stained teeth, next time he tries “cheerful”. But for now.. she drives on..

Its a huge junction where we meet the road… there are few cars.. thankfully.. given the time of the day… but lots of trucks and buses! We are “brake.. clutch … clutch… brake”ing our way through… Cocky Driver is looking slightly worried now… his hand has firmly gripped the steering…and is starting to resemble Crazy Uncle X…

…and then….

…. the car just switches off. A loud vibration… and then peaceful silence.  The car is standing in the middle of the junction… like a poor lost cow stranded on the highway.. with vehicle zipping past and people honking! 

… I now know how cows feel…

…when I’m “Independant”… smoothly driving around the towns and and villages of Karnataka.. (in a style that can only be matched by Rajni saar.. may I add)…. I vow… I WILL NEVER HONK AT A COW.  Yeh meri “Partigya” hai!

So anyways.. we restarted car… CD did some typical CUX antics.. driving car from passenger side and all that.. And we slowly moved… and got back to the more homely familiar and loving roads close to home. In restrospect… I loved it! Maybe we should do this more often!

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Day 4:  No fancy title thought yet

As I’m typing this post… I have strange feeling that CD might not turn up today!…

Will he… won’t he…??

Will we go the Big Bad Road again…. Will SS ever drive  with the same panache like Rajni saar? Will she ever be able to touch up her makeup.. and take calls while driving….

….we’ll just have to wait… and watch this space..

(Walks away… singing… “Baabu…. baabu.. samajho ishaare… horan pukaare… rum pum pum… yahaan… chalti ko gaadi.. kehte hain yaaron… rum pum pum)

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