July 2010

I’m at home, recuperating… will be back to work again tomm…

Its very difficult to explain how I’m feeling. There are hours when I’m cheerful, laughing, talking. In those phases I can rationally convince myself about how whatever happens, happens for the best. The past two months have been really trying. I’ve been anxious, and extra careful and google crazy.

… H and I were euphoric. We went about telling the world… and now, the same world faces us again…

… sometimes, like just now… its a trying time… I cannot make this dull ache go away, or not let my eyes mist over…

… there are babies all over facebook…cute, cuddly ones… and it just doesn’t seem fair. H would make such a wonderful dad

Learnt some lessons, putting them down: –

I am most probably going to quit this job, or at least definitely change my team. The new TL turned out to be a totally insensitive woman. Wouldn’t go into the details, but will definitely be shifting out.

Need to wait the first trimester out

Not taking stress, letting things happen in their own time, not trying to control all the aspects of my life

And how H is the most wonderful, caring, sensitive guy ever, and how I am blessed to have him in my life…

The importance of relationships… The importance of older people in the house, just to brighten it up. Its ironical, how we crave our independence, but we still need our parents around, like when we were babies ourselves, to help us come to grips with whatever life is dealing out to us.  To nurture, to comfort, to bring in some perspective…

Okay, I think this will be the last post on this matter, if I can manage it. I need to shake myself up and keep going.

Thanks for all the support and wishes that you sent out guys.. please do keep us in your good thoughts


I had been waiting and waiting and not posting on the blog coz I just wanted to post the most important news for H and me before anything else.

I was pregnant and we were really really going along making so many plans around our little baby

But I have miscarried. Its a missed miscarriage, which is even more painful because it came with no warnings.

Its been a couple of days since I’ve known about it and I don’t feel as bad as I felt in the doc’s room when she told me there was no heart beat. I’m much better now, so please don’t worry.

Maybe it was part of God’s bigger plan.

 I’ve disabled comments on this one. I wrote about this coz I just felt I needed to.