Trials and lessons from life


There is something about lady bosses….. something really sad and pathetic…. and I’m sure I have the crummiest one yet

This is a lady who is so insecure about her position… that she has become an insufferable control freak. She wants to be looped in to everything…. keeps asking for updates by the minute… gets upset if you haven’t had a conversation with her for a day…

We guys have a history… the history being my miscarriage. I don’t think I can ever forget how insensitively she behaved. She kept guilt tripping me about all the assignments that the team was losing out on, because  I was unavailable.. about how I wasn’t someone she could count upon because I not be able to finish things… I was fickle and lazy.

I remember requesting her to allow me to work from home when things weren’t going well and she made me go on leave… to the point that I don’t have leaves for Diwali…

And that she had a “1 on 1” with me when I was still nursing my heart.. and body… and drove me to tears telling me that I had not taken tast A to its completion… (and this was while I was still miscarrying!)

…and the bl**dy insensitive b***ch that she is … today she brings up ‘Quarter 2’ in my performance appraisal discussion and tells me how I have not performed at all on X, Y, Z counts and asks me to prepare a list of things I did… to prove her otherwise…

…I’m so angry…. I wish that she gets to pay for this…. that God steps in and teaches her a lesson.

She needs some lessons in humanity and empathy and consideration. Hell… she needs to learn management!! I don’t know why they bring in underqualified people to wreck havoc on the rest.

… I’m going to stop ranting.. and do something… and I will keep you guys posted…

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I’m at home, recuperating… will be back to work again tomm…

Its very difficult to explain how I’m feeling. There are hours when I’m cheerful, laughing, talking. In those phases I can rationally convince myself about how whatever happens, happens for the best. The past two months have been really trying. I’ve been anxious, and extra careful and google crazy.

… H and I were euphoric. We went about telling the world… and now, the same world faces us again…

… sometimes, like just now… its a trying time… I cannot make this dull ache go away, or not let my eyes mist over…

… there are babies all over facebook…cute, cuddly ones… and it just doesn’t seem fair. H would make such a wonderful dad

Learnt some lessons, putting them down: –

I am most probably going to quit this job, or at least definitely change my team. The new TL turned out to be a totally insensitive woman. Wouldn’t go into the details, but will definitely be shifting out.

Need to wait the first trimester out

Not taking stress, letting things happen in their own time, not trying to control all the aspects of my life

And how H is the most wonderful, caring, sensitive guy ever, and how I am blessed to have him in my life…

The importance of relationships… The importance of older people in the house, just to brighten it up. Its ironical, how we crave our independence, but we still need our parents around, like when we were babies ourselves, to help us come to grips with whatever life is dealing out to us.  To nurture, to comfort, to bring in some perspective…

Okay, I think this will be the last post on this matter, if I can manage it. I need to shake myself up and keep going.

Thanks for all the support and wishes that you sent out guys.. please do keep us in your good thoughts